From the recipient side, a pantry neighbor's story

This post is a first-person reflection from a pantry neighbor who asked to remain anonymous. We have used a family-name placeholder. The foundation has not edited the content beyond light copyedits for length.

I started coming to the mupla pantry eighteen months ago. I had just left a job that was making me sick, my husband had been out of work for three months, and we had three kids under the age of eight. I had never used a food pantry before. I did not know what to expect.

I expected to be looked at. I expected paperwork. I expected to be made to explain myself.

I did not get any of those things.

What I got

I got a volunteer named Aisha, who smiled and asked if I had a preference between rice and flour. I got a grocery box that weighed about twenty-five pounds, with halal protein, fresh produce, diapers for my youngest, and a small loaf of bread on top. I got a piece of paper with the next Saturday's time on it. I was in and out in under ten minutes.

I cried in the car, before I started the engine. I am not proud of that. I am also not ashamed of it. The dignity of that first visit is something I will not forget.

What changed

Over the next several months, I came back. I never had to explain why. I never had to prove anything. The kids started to recognize Aisha. They called her the rice lady, which she loved. My husband found work in the spring. We still come, because the groceries help, but also because the Saturday visit is part of our week now. It is the most consistent thing on the calendar.

I also started volunteering. I cannot afford to give the foundation money, but I can give two hours on a Wednesday afternoon, packing boxes. I have been doing it for a year. Aisha is my shift lead.

What the foundation has done for my kids

The kids have come to expect Saturday morning as a thing we do. The youngest, who is five, has started to help me carry the box to the car. She is too small to lift it, but she holds the door open for me, and that is the work, and the work is the point. The middle one, who is seven, has started to recognize the other kids in line. They have made a Saturday morning game of counting the boxes. The oldest, who is eight, has started to ask why some people come to the pantry and some do not. We have had the conversation, in age-appropriate terms, about what it means to need help, and what it means to be the kind of person who shows up when you can.

The foundation has not done this for my kids, exactly. The foundation has shown up, every Saturday, and the showing up is the thing that the kids have absorbed. The kids have not been the recipients of a program. They have been the witnesses of a community, and the witnessing is what changes them.

What I would tell a new mother who is afraid to come

Three things, in this order. The first is that nobody will look at you. The door is open, the volunteer is kind, and the visit takes ten minutes. The second is that you do not have to explain yourself. There is no paperwork. There is no ID. The groceries are on the table, and the groceries are for you if you need them. The third is that you will probably cry in the car. I did. My neighbor did. Aisha tells me that most of the new mothers do. The crying is fine. The groceries are the point.

I would also tell her to come back. The first visit is the hard one. The second visit is easier. The third visit is part of your week. The fourth visit is when the kids start to recognize the volunteers. The fifth visit is when you start to volunteer yourself, if your week has the room. The pantry is a community, and the community is what makes the groceries more than groceries.

What I want to say

If you are a donor, if you are a volunteer, if you are reading this and wondering whether the work matters: it does. The groceries matter. The consistency matters. The way Aisha says "Salam, sister" every Saturday at the door matters more than I can say.

To anyone reading this who is considering coming to the pantry for the first time: come. You will not be looked at. You will not have to explain yourself. The door is open.

To see the pantry schedule, the events page has every Saturday listed. To support the work, the donate page has a designated pantry fund. To see how the pantry fits with the rest of the foundation's programs, the programs page has the program-by-program breakdown.